Captain’s Challenge: Round 12, skippers to target and avoid

Hello everyone.

It is I.

The Hammer.

Sitting injured on the bench.

A broken bird.

Anxious.

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Watching Dezzy Drinkwater run up the field, sidestep two defenders, palm off Big David Fifita, and score a try to the sound of rapturous applause and delight.

And to pay the incredible Dez back for helping a gal out in her hour of need by taking over my Captaincy duties last week, I allowed him to beat me in our H2H.

I truly am such a giver.

A selfless martyr to my kind heart.

I also sit on a throne of lies.

As I never stood a chance beating the great Dezzy, because my team is falling apart at the seams and it is only the great future immortal, Cobbo, who is holding us all together.

Which is quite ironic really, because everybody knows that at a social gathering it is, in fact, the Cobbo Loaf that brings everyone together around the Great Table of Snacks to dip and bond and dip some more.

How many friendships and relationships have formed over the Cobbo Loaf centrepiece I ask you?

If it wasn’t for Cobbo Loaf, Australia would simply fall apart.

If Kiwis were allowed to vote here, I would add my own voting box:

The Cobbo Loaf Party – TICK

And imagine if the Cobbo Loaf Party formed a coalition with the Legalise Cannabis Party…well.

Munchies sorted.

I really should be running this country. But anyhow…I digress…

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Speaking of the great Cobbo and his sidekick, Staggs. A special thank you to the Cobbo x Staggs owners who attended our Thanksgiving Meeting on Tuesday night. The prayers of thanks that were offered up were truly glorious indeed, and the many idols you brought in the form of our majestic heroes were simply breathtaking.

Of course, in hindsight, a Captain Cobbo would have been a beautiful thing with the Round 11 top score consisting of his 131 effortless points.

And if, in fact, a ghost ship team does have the big C on Cobbo as it floats around lost and tossed in the great SuperCoach Ocean, well, a massive congratulations to you ghost ship sir. Congratulations indeed.

Other than that, the popular Captains of Mr Nathan Cleary (84) and Prince Nicho Hynes (82) were decent choices in a low scoring round.

Prince Nicho Hynes, being the majestic royal that he is, decided to treat us Captain Faithfuls to a beautiful field goal to seal his Round 11 Captaincy prowess over the Cleary Cohort…

…only to then turn around and lose 20 (TWENTY!!!) points (and many a Faithful’s H2Hs) in the last minute of the game with a naughty little sinbinning.

And hahaha. Oops! All is forgiven our favourite Prince…

Ohhh, he’s a lovable royal rogue, he truly is.

And now, without further ado, to our Captains…

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Captain Obvious

Mr Nathan Cleary

Well, our first Captain Obvious this week is clearly Cleary. Because it simply must always be.

Playing the high-flying Cowboys, who to be fair haven’t let halfbacks score well against them this year, you’d be forgiven for thinking he maybe isn’t an option.

But it is Cleary.

And he has a season average of 87 and a five-round average of 91.

And he plays for the Panthers.

And we shouldn’t be dissuaded off a Cleary Captaincy due to the absolute display of domination the Cowboys put on the Storm last Saturday night.

The Storm were without their fullback AND their halfback.

Last year vs the Cowboys (and yes, the Cowboys of last year were not the Cowboys of this year), he scored a 103 including two try assists.

So, do expect our favourite unicorn to come out and score around 100 points out of complete thin air.

Captain with confidence friends.

Or Vice-Captain, if you’re taking a punt on our next Captain Obvious…

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Prince Nicho Hynes

Apart from his brain explosion in the 80^th minute of the game last Sunday, Prince Nicho looked better than the dismal performance of the week before – safely tucked back into his halfback spot.

Our favourite royal, boasts an average score of 87 and a three-round average of 106.

And with Kennedy back this Round – which is also Indigenous Round – we can expect more points to come Prince Nicho’s way as he absolutely rises to the occasion and proudly plays his heart out.

However. They are playing the Roosters.

And I am unsure what Roosters team we will get on Saturday night. And well, if we get the clicky Chooks all clicking together beautifully – well – who would win in a fight between a shark and a rooster on dry land?

If it is raining though, expect the great Shark, Hynes, to be in his element.

Because here’s a fun fact. Last year in Round 16 vs the Chooks, Prince Nicho scored a 104 including a try and an assist.

And it was raining. The man simply loves the rain.

If you’re doing a Prince Nicho Hynes Captaincy, please pop the Vice Captaincy on Mr Nathan Cleary.

And because I just checked the weather for PointsBet Stadium and it is sun with a cloud, please also perform a rain dance and send a prayer to the rain Gods to:

Make. It. Rain.

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Captain Sensible

Isaiah “Reliable” Papali’i

I mean, name a more reliable player in 2022…I’ll wait…

…

Exactly.

Look no matter where he plays on the field, you know you’re going to get a safe and solid knock out of the Reliable Papali’i

He scored 72 points last week, including a try assist, and despite a lower score (for him) he can still be counted on for all that lovely base.

Playing the Raiders on Sunday arvo, expect Papali’I to stick to his reliable ways. Last year he scored a 129 and a 79 vs them.

Be warned though, he has been named at lock, but should he switch to that right edge where he has been an absolute wrecking ball this season – he’s definitely an option.

So, because this is the last game of the Round, just make sure you choose a high-upside guy like a Cleary or a Hynes for your VC and get your looping loops in order.

But if you fancy a nice reliable 80 points for your Captain this week, you are welcome to pop the big C on Mr Reliable.

The man has a five-round average of 92…and I still don’t have him in my team…and omg wtf is wrong with me??

He is coming straight in after Round 13…and staying safely tucked away in my team for the rest of the season.

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THE Vice Captains

Cameron Munster

Look. To be fair, the Storm did not look very Storm-like in their display against the Cowboys who annihilated them

And Munster only scored a 37 and wow.

Can you imagine the sheds afterwards with Bellamy tearing strips off them?

But against Manly tonight, a Manly who will be without Tommy T, I’d fully expect the whole Storm team to come out swinging.

And Munster does like raising for an occasion – such as the game after a smashing.

So do expect our favourite 5/8 to have a blinder. Much like his blinding hair.

He has an average of 81 points this season. And last year vs Manly in Round 21, he scored an 84 – including a try and an assist.

He is a decent Vice Captaincy option for this round indeed.

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The Great Beach Sprinter

Okay. But did you know that Damien Cook used to be a beach sprinter?

Yes. I KNOW right! Who’d have thought?

Well, when you see him sprinting up the middle of that field and darting and running and darting some more you’d know.

Imagine if they played on the beach?

Cookie is looking good.

81 points last week, tries and line-breaks in back-to-back matches, and an average of 71.5.

And whilst he’s not my favourite Sir Vice Captain this week, if you’re feeling a little frisky and a bit risky – he is certainly an option for a sneaky Vice Captain into a Captain Papali’i or a Nicho Hynes.

Playing the Tigers on Saturday, we can expect everyone’s favourite beach sprinter to come out and do lots of running and things.

However, for the purpose of this argument for a Vice Captaincy, we will not look at his scores vs the Tigers last year, which were…

whispers* a 56 and a 42…

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Verdict

Vice-Captain Munster into Captain Cleary OR Vice-Captain Cleary into Captain Hynes.

If you want a safe 75 – 80 points, you can Captain The Reliable Mr Papali’i. And of course, should you want to be all Poddy, there are plenty of choices for wingercoasters that might go big, or a certain former champion beach sprinter who could casually do a number on the Tigers come Saturday evening.

Now, to finish, in the spirit of transparency, I must reveal, I was not in fact injured on my one-week layoff.

On my one-week layoff, I carried a ridiculously large fridge down six flights of stairs, carried the world’s biggest couch down six flights of stairs, carried a whole house, in fact, down six flights of stairs.

And therefore, I must confess.

I was not The Hammer.

I was 2021 Tommy T.

Only, nobody gave me a Dally M for carrying so much weight on my shoulders…

But I made it. And here I am.

It is good to be back.

On that note, enjoy the weekend my SuperCoach friends.

May your Captain score you a double ton, may your team win, and may your weekend be just glorious…

Clementine x