Captain’s Challenge: Round 23, skippers to target and avoid

Friends.

A confession.

I am not, in fact, who I’ve said I am.

I am not the mathematical genius of our generation.

I know the equation was incredibly legitimate looking (I almost believed it myself), and I know it looked like I had cleverly concluded the final score that our glorious Prince would score on the weekend just been – however, I must confess, I made the whole thing up out of thin air and…

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“Prince Nicho (in the rain) vs the Tigers. Show your working:

F = m × a = 90kg × glorious wet locks m/s2 = 60 + 2 ta = +60 + 113 + 24 = 197 points which is physics and also maths”

…is not in fact physics and also maths, but is a combination of wishes, prayers, manifestations and dubious weathergirling, with some crystals thrown in for good measure.

Just like my SuperCoach season.

However.

Much to my delight, I have now reached the level of the most successful mathematicianing of my whole life – because it did not rain – therefore we can minus 60 points which brings us to a score of 137 which is only 38 points out, minus one x try assist (ta) = a total of only 26 points wrong.

Which I do believe gives me around a D+ as I get marks for showing my working.

Anyhow.

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A big Captain Congratulations to the 0.3% of Ghost Ships who Captained Future Immortal Cobbo for his 238 Sir Captain points. We manifested three of those tries in this very article last week.

Now before we get into this week’s Captains, who has trades left?

I have two left, and they have been tempting me every single day when I open the app for the last two weeks. But using all the strength and willpower I have – I resisted temptation and completely abstained from touching them.

And then this morning I decided I would finally use one to go Tago to Murray, which I had tossed and turned about two weeks ago, only to realise that due to inflation, on today’s market as opposed to the market of two weeks ago, it would be a two-trade trade to do this.

And on doing a deeper deep dive, I realised it has cost me 132 points and 700 places not just pulling the trigger just two weeks ago.

And I felt quite sad.

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But then! Garrick! Garrick is officially out which is really, really sad and I do hope he is okay. And I know I broke Talakai with my soul trade – but honestly, to the person who broke him – how could you break my Garrick. I am so very sad and at this point, I am almost ready to lift name suppression.

But I also have a trade to go straight to Murray, with one trade left for the very end. Which makes me very, very happy. And I’ll be doing that last trade whilst sipping a fresh coconut on Padang Padang Beach because I got my dates wrong and I accidentally booked Bali for the last week of SuperCoach 2022 – but that’s another story.

And now I am so very pleased that I hoarded those two trades like they were the last two beers in my fridge and the bottle store’s closed for the next three weeks.

Phew. Now that we’ve come full circle with the beer analogy – taking us back the very first time I ever met you, dear reader (click here for a reminisce) – I will now proceed to the Captains!

And let’s start with the man who makes you thirsty for more:

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Mr Scotty D

Now, as a non-Drinky owner, this match makes me so scared.

Firstly, the Cowboys are playing at home. Secondly, they are playing my Warriors at home.

Thirdly Scotty D scored a 94 vs my Warriors back in Round 5. Not at home. But still.

And lastly, Scotty D has a three-round average of 85 including two tons vs the Dragons and the Bulldogs in the last three games and therefore, I must conclude that he may possibly score a big old ton, and you may most certainly Vice Captain him should you feel the urge.

Straight Captain him only if your balls are so big you carry them around in a wheelbarrow – because there’s also a chance, he gets rested if the Cowboys are whacking out an absolute score on Friday night.

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Munster

A three-round average of 99, has me convinced on a Vice Captaincy on Munster vs the Broncos at Suncorp Stadium on Friday night.

An 87 last time he played the Broncos, including a try and an assist, and with my mind firmly stuck on that massive 147 points he whacked out vs the Titans two rounds ago – this may be the way I go.

Especially as I’ve noted he’s started to grow his hair out again, and I know you know the power of the hair, because we discuss hair so much in these articles, you’d think I was a hairdresser in my spare time. And with his hair growing out nicely, I’m fully expecting it to be back at that beautifully healthy undercut reminiscent of Leo DiCaprio in his Romeo and Juliet days by the beginning of SC Season 2023.

On behalf of myself and the ladies of the SC Playbook WhatsApp Group – we really must insist.

Now let’s move on to our Captain Captains!

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Prince Nicho Hynes

Captain Prince Nicho vs the injury-ravaged Manly Sea Eagles minus Garrick.

Need I say more?

After my slightly dubious mathmeticianing last week, I have painstakingly reworked my equations and concluded that he will score at least 122 points this week.

This of course takes into account, that we no longer need it to rain to ensure extra glorious wet hair points – because he is a man who uses his initiative, and has taken to WETTING HIS OWN HAIR before the games!

We LOVE a man who knows the power of the wet hair, and I’m sure I speak on behalf of us all, when I say what an absolute delight Prince Nicho has been the entire SuperCoach season!

A three-round average of 92 and a rather delicious 97 points last time he played Manly in Round 7 of this year, I truly believe he will be the top scorer of the round (apart from that one rogue player who goes massively massive out of the blue – ala Amone last round…) 

Captain with confidence friends. Captain. With Confidence.

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Who would win in a fight between a Rooster and a Tiger?

Of course, we have another game on Saturday with a couple of players you may like to consider for the Captaincy.

Now. That game is the Roosters (who are going hard on their run to the finals) vs the Tigers (who are not going to make the finals). And look, I think the Roosters will go massive here even though in everyday life in the animal kingdom, if a Tiger took on a Rooster in a fight the Tiger would (quite obviously) be eating fresh chook for dinner.

However – in this case it will be the Roosters who will likely come out on top.

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Sir Joey Manu – Our Favourite Kiwi

I prefer Manu as a Captain in this game. After a couple of lacklustre point scoring outings – our favourite Kiwi will be frothing for some points. Will we see about a 100 tries out of the man? Potentially.

Anyhow – let’s ignore the 52 and the 48 Manu scored against the Queensland teams in the last two rounds – they are tough opponents so we can forgive those scores – and instead focus on the 101, the 191, the 97, and the 85 he scored against the New South Wales teams the rounds previously.

And conclude that Manu is a wonderful, if slightly risky, Captaincy choice this round.

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Teddy

Now, if you like, you may consider Teddy as a Captaincy option instead.

A five-round average of 94 – and post-Origin Teddy is on a bit of a tear.

Apart from last week, when he scored a 47. But again – vs a Queensland team – strong, tough opponents etc etc.

But with my eye firmly on that 152 he scored us back in Round 19 vs the Knights – I think if you would like to pop a Captaincy on Teddy, you may very well do so…

(Although he is not my favourite Captain of the round).

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Verdict

I cannot look past a second week of Sir Captaining my favourite Prince. Although I do have one eye firmly on Sir Manu. So really for me it is between those two, with a Vice Captaincy on that marvellous man Munster.

But of course, you must do whatever is going to win you that Head-to-Head, and if you are the type of person who likes to take a risk – by all means risk away with the riskiest Captain Risky ever seen in SuperCoach history.

I mean. If you’d Sir Captained Amone last week – well. Just imagine how many overall places in advance you’d be right now…

That’s it from me this week. I’m off to Orange tomorrow to freeze myself into “the Frozen Queenzlander” – a special statue of man-made ice that will grace the edges of Lake Canobolas for decades to come and will eventually come to almost rival The Big Potato of Robertson, NSW in its glory…

And whatever you’re doing this weekend – I hope it’s as glorious as those three tries Future Immortal Cobbo scored last Sunday night…

Here’s to winning all your Head-to-Heads and your Captain scoring a ton…

Clementine

xxx