Captain’s Challenge: Round 24, skippers to target and avoid

August 18^th 2022.

Peanut Buttergate.

The day I was crucified across the NRL SC Twittersphere for admitting that I hate the gluggy stuff. Especially on toast. Definitely on toast.

Let’s rewind back around 14 hours, and the day started like any other. I went for a beautiful beach walk and watched a stunning sunrise. Slowly savoured a delectable triple shot iced long black. Went to work. Popped into the mall for a bit of late-night shopping…

And all of a sudden, my phone went nuts as I became a Twitter pariah for insulting everyone’s favourite spread in an innocent little tweet.

For the record, I also don’t like Vegemite, hate Marmite, can take or leave Nutella…but am obsessed with butter and honey (creamed not runny) so see I’m not all bad – I’m just very particular about my spreads.

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Anyhow, the whole point of this tangenting tangent which you are absolutely used to from me by now, and which has absolutely zero to do with SuperCoach Captains (unless we are choosing on their choice of spread?), is that NRL Physio tweeted his reaction to my peanut butter confession, with what is now my new favourite gif which is Cameron Smith WTF gif.

And I will now use this gif all the time, including this weekend when people choose not to Sir Captain Prince Nicho Hynes, and he breaks all SuperCoach records known to man.

In. The. Rain.

We will all be left in awe with our mouths wide open, as we stare at our TVs in shocked disbelief, because he’s whacked out 250 points and the 95% of non-Ghost Ship teams who Sir Captain him this round have reaped the rewards of 500 Sir Captaincy Points. Whilst the 5% who didn’t…well they cry.

The end.

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Okay, but also we must have some Vice Captains. And also I must confess that I am very aware that this article is a day late.

So firstly, an ode to the first Vice Captain you could have Vice Captained last night (who tbh was never going to appear in this article even if I did write it yesterday), but who whacked out a casual 145 points, including two tries and three assists, for the lucky 3.2% of people who actually played him out of the 6% who own him.

A poem for Gutho aka Captain America.

Gutho dances.

Celebration.

Filled with double try elation.

Those Broncs, well…

he quite firmly doused.

His lucky owners…

well, they’re aroused.

So let’s quickly chat about our Captain for the round. Who is of course the very same Sir Captain I have championed for the last three five okay…ten, ten rounds (at least).

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Prince Nicho Hynes

And I have been informed that it is raining on Saturday. And oh boy does that make my heart sing!

Wet-haired Nicho at PointsBet Stadium, against the Bulldogs, a three-round average of 111, and coming off 130 vs Manly just last week.

Slap the Captaincy on him and be done with it.

A Shark would easily beat a Bulldog in a swimming race up the field.

And last time he played the Bulldogs he gifted owners with 96 points, but I fully expect he will go much more massively massive in this game. In the rain.

He will easily be the most popular Captain this round, and with good reason – so the only reason I’d say avoid is if you need a massive pod play to win your H2H, which we will chat about later.

But of course, we must have some Vice Captains too, and obviously if you have some Panthers players in your team by the names of Tago or May you are going to pop that VC on them and sit back and enjoy the game.

(Unless you are me and a Warriors fan and then you will probably feel a bit sad – but you will still pop the VC on a Panthers player, because here is a chance for you to win your H2H).

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Taylan May

Don’t let a three-round average of 43 put you off.

Also, forget about the time back in Round 15, when May only scored a 65 vs the Warriors.

This is the game that we held the Panther’s winger for.

With Jerome Luai back, the Panther’s left edge should get a workout against my Warriors, and that means that May should cross over at least a couple of times. I’m betting three. Or four.

Four times over the line. 157 points – and Clem loops.

Unless this next man forgets to pass left and hogs the ball and just crashes over himself:

Izack Tago

Also boasting a less than desirable three-round average of 42, and an off-putting Round 15 score against the Warriors of 38, I do believe Tago is a chance of going bigger, much bigger this time round.

Possible Vice Captaincy material. Yes.

Captain material. No. Don’t put yourself through the stress.

You may also Vice Captain To’o or even risk a poddy Vice Captain like an Edwards in this match-up.

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Vice Captain Dubious

Cam Munster

Okay up against the invigorated Roosters who are smashing out some scores, you could be forgiven for not giving our man Munster a chance.

But. Munster is a big game player…and the Storm are looking much better…and this game is at home…

And he is on a bit of a streak at the moment, with a 103 three-game average.

However, let’s just come crashing back down to earth again – with the point that in Round 14 he did only score 43 points vs the Roosters – and the Round 14 Roosters were not as good as the Round 24 Roosters…plus he has gone under 100 in his last two games and the giant 147 points he whacked out three rounds ago was against the Titans…

So yeah…I probably wouldn’t Vice Captain him.

Some Sort of Pod Captain

If you want to take a risk to win your H2H Grand Final or even make a last-minute leap up the rankings – with 152% of SuperCoachers captaining Prince Nicho, you could take a risk on a bit of a pod.

Take a look through your team, take a look through your opponant’s team, hope they aren’t going to make some crafty last-minute switcheroo – and then make some calculations as to whether you need a Hail Mary with a Vice Captaincy or a Captaincy on a super-random – like a Ramien on the attack, or a Brimson coming to absolute life against Newcastle.

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Verdict

I know I sound like a broken record…every week…but how can you look past Prince Nicho in the rain vs the Bulldogs.

Unless! You need to pull a big Captain Random out of a hat to win you H2H Grand Final – and “abracadabra!” Brimson just scored 150 points vs Newcastle and “boom!” – you just won your H2H.

If you own one of the Panthers we talked about, definitely pop the Vice Captaincy on one of those. The chance of a Taylan May triple is just too possible to not pop it on him for me.

And now. A quick little update on my team and I am sitting in 1739th place which is approximately 168ish points off Top 1000.

And I am so very determined to force my way into the Top 1000 and the delicious embrace of a deep-fried thigh.

And so, I teamed up with Aman AKA The SuperCoach Shakespeare, who is also within Top 1000 tasting distance, with a special Manifestation Poem Collaboration that everybody who is in the Top 1000 chase is welcome to use. (I recommend using the manifestation crystals you received at the last Support Group to form a manifestation circle (just like the one’s you’ve done with me) and chanting this poem slowly 15 times every morning, whilst drinking the juice of a fresh coconut backwards out of the shell..

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And it goes like this:

Brown giving the Broncos an absolute kickin’

Forging our path to that beautiful fried chicken.

Dylan kicks, you know who’s there.

Laney scores, Clem and Aman cheer.

Watch’n Prince Nicho score that first try.

You can almost taste that deep fried thigh.

Clawing our way to 11 herbs and spices.

Top 1000 so close – it beckons, entices.

The Storm Number 9 makes our heart sing.

The only thing better is a fried chicken wing.

So close we can taste it, what will the round bring?

All in the quest for the coveted keyring.

We were going to present this as a rap, except we ran into the small issue that neither of us can actually rap.

And on that note, I hope you win all your H2H Grand Finals, I hope your Captain tons up beautifully, and I hope your weekend is as glorious as Prince Nicho playing in the rain…

Until next week

Clementine xxx