Weekly wrap: Round 14 winners, losers, injuries

Kingda Ka is often referred to as the scariest rollercoaster in the world. Up, up, up you’ll go, 456 feet in the air, before plunging 418 feet to the ground at speeds of 206km/h in less than 3.5 seconds…

…but breaking news! This just in! There’s a new front runner for scariest rollercoaster in the world…

SC 2023 Round 14 is often referred to as the scariest rollercoaster in the world. Up, up, up you’ll go, a Bateman, Bula, SJ into the air, before plunging a Kiraz, JMK, Peachey to the ground at speeds of Captain Cleary injured in less than 18 minutes…

And Round 14. What. A. Ride.

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There was complete carnage, and players out at the last minute, and last-minute trades going down, and looping dilemmas, and will-they-play-post-Origin dilemmas, and players who went HUGE, and players who did not. There was 1-point wins, and cricket score wins, and do-not-play manifestation dances going dow….

…ahhh scrap that last bit. I did not, of course, sabotage my H2H nemesis Timmy, with a do-not-play manifestation dance, of course I did not. I wasn’t even in a H2H against him this round…*insert guilty sideways look here – please don’t fire me.

And I hope you came away from the carnage with your team at least partially intact. And if you managed to go the entire ride unscathed and vomit-free? Well congratulations dear reader, it’s green arrows for you.

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Friday Beers rode almost the entire complement of highs and lows. We started the week off nicely with QLD wins in the Origin games – which included such glorious things as a leaping Lindsay dishing out a casual try assist; we avoided all the team list carnage AND saved all our trades; then we crashed back down with a couple of casual 20s and 30s; then up, up, up we went, hitting those soaring heights again with an AJ, Cody, Teddy combo…

…before crashing straight back down to earth with a Captain Cleary. But we will absolutely take a 1073, a tiny drop to 4452 overall, and a win in the SC Playbook H2H League.

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My co-writer, Nick, joined me on the rollercoaster. Philly Hamstrings enjoying a nice up and down ride, which started with a 102-point Bateman, before a steep drop of 96 points in 80 minutes with a benched Kotoni, and up again with double ton duo AJ and Cody, crashing back down with a grand finale of a Captain Cleary. Which saw his team finish on a respectable 1015.

And I owe Nick about a thousand beers for giving me some nice rest breaks and running solo on the byes for this article. Thank you so much! He made a spreadsheet and everything and I am in complete awe of his organisational spreadsheeting skills.

(Especially as I sit here contemplating my 5 yellow bye-planning post-it notes, scrawled with such clever bye-planning stats as “Round 15 – just the Cowboys – sweet as bro! Save some more trades you little trade hoarder you…”)

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Tigers vs Canberra

Take an absolute bow Bula and Bateman, and everyone who brought in one or both, or who already owned one or both. Because if you started Round 14 off with one of these glorious tonner-uppers, well. You clocked Round 14 Game 1, reaching absolute peak levels of joy…

Narrator: Little did they know, there was a 418-foot drop waiting on the other side ready to plunge them to the depths of despa…

…aaand we’ll just ignore that for now and focus on the positives.

Like the fact that Bateman and Bula are absolute guns and one (or both) should be in everybody’s teams. They miss Round 17, but they cover the tricky 16 and 19 byes and did we mention that they’re absolute GUNS!

The Raiders came away with the win, but only by the skin of their teeth – the Tigers forging an absolute comeback from 18 – 0 down with 12 minutes to go, scoring 3 tries in 4 minutes AND a field goal, before a penalty goal put the Raiders back in front 19 – 20.

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Even before the round started, we were teased with the carnage to come. Ricky rested Croker to play his 300^th at home (which is totally understandable), but unlucky owners were short a number for the tricky Round 14 – until Kiraz came along as a nice almost straight swap and it was happy days all week…until Saturday morning came along and THAT carnage started unleashing…

And for the Raiders, Fogarty was a star. 2 tries and a try assist. 97 points. You’d be stoked if you were one of his handful of owners, except if you were one of the 38% who benched him.

Tapine rewarded loyal owners with a nice consistent 67, and Big Corey Horsburgh couldn’t quite jag those attacking stats from last round, tackling his heart out to a not quite as spectacular 48 points.

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For the Tigers, we must start with Bula who was literally on fire and was everywhere on the field, scoring a try and 2-line breaks and a line break assist, taking hit-ups and running 236 running metres from 28 runs…

111 points! And just like that, he’s made owners another cheeky 118k and massive congrats if you jumped on.

Bateman MUST be on your trade target list. 102 points including a try and a million tackles. He just looks so good. What. A. Guy! And if you went IPap instead, well you’ll take a 58. He’s one to have on your radar as he’s so cheap now at $549k.

Injuries: Nil

Judiciary: Zac Woolford (Dangerous Throw), Isaiah Papali’i (Dangerous Contact)

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Warriors vs Dolphins

Oh SJ. Oh, how we love you with your fancy footwork and your razzle dazzle and your complete wizardry of the field.

Because the Kiwi god put on a vintage performance at home, leading the Warriors to a resounding 30 – 8 victory over the Dolphins. SJ scoring 127 points, which included TWO tries.

And Charnze. God Charnze. Why did I ever trade you out? And is it too late to bring you back in? 94 points last week, 103 points this week – you’re just so busy and I want you back in my team!

Spy called the trade for DWZ last week, and the man continued to reward owners with 85 points this week including 2 tries with his glorious hair continuing to look all glorious in full try-scoring flight.

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Tohu was a little quieter points-wise, managing just 57. But with a 3-round average of 76 we don’t mind. And Ford is turning into Bateman for me this week. 58 points and a 3-round average of 49. You’ve done your job as a cash cow, and now it’s time for me to trade you in.

It was Dolphin-devastation for owners, with the Hammer rested post-Origin and Gilbert rested but then injured too. And then to add to the carnage, JMK! Confirmed out the morning of the game!

But for the Dolphins who made it onto the field, let us talk about Issako. Oh how we love you. 5 tries in his last 3 games. 13 in total for the season, including 1 in this game. 114 points. A 3-round average of 104. Ranked 1^st in the Fullback and CTW positions. The most craziest thing to me is that only 36% of teams own him!

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I Katoa. Look I confess, I was about to do a desperate last-minute trade to Hughes just before kick-off, and I take this as a win that I did not do that, but still. He’s lost cash now and for me, he’s got to go. 26 points. Dropped to 300k. A 3-round average of 21…

And Te Whare. I watched the pre-match interview with Wayne, and I saw that little sideways smile when he coyly asked the reporter “will he get a few more minutes? Maybe he will.” And I did not play him, choosing Katoa instead. But we will take the 37 points in the 55 minutes and the 60k cash rise, and hope he gets enough minutes to make his 41 BE next week too.

Injuries: Rocco Berry (head knock), Brenko Lee (calf)

Judiciary: Jarrod Wallace (Shoulder Charge), Anthony Milford (Dangerous Contact)

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Titans vs Rabbitohs

My biggest question all week was how many minutes big David Fifita was going to get and would post-Origin reduced minutes mean he would only score around 70 points and would that include one try or two?

I spent approximately 562 hours on this question, and the answer was 34 minutes, and 16 points, and 0 tries, and oh dear.

The Titans were 22-16 up at half time and I was thinking ‘what have I done bringing in three Rabbitohs players’ and then miracle of all miracles! The Rabbitohs forged a glorious second-half come-back, scoring 30 points after half-time, taking the win 28 – 46.

(But not really a miracle because this is the 5^th time the Titans have led by 20 or more at half time and been chased down).

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And let us give a huge round of applause to AJ. His most glorious hattrick seeing him hit fourth on the all-time try scorers list with 178 tries. 107 points. 3 tries. 3-line breaks. This is exactly what we needed in Round 14!

And Cody. He is a try-assisting machine. 18 try assists in 9 games. As an owner, I must beg, please dear god do not let him assist his way into a NSW jersey with the carnage over the weekend. I need his assists-tance in my team. 100 even, a try, and an assist, 2 try contributions. 2-line breaks, and 2-line break assists. He even assisted me to win my multi. Happy days!

Cook managed a 66 including a try assist. I’ll take it. Koloamatangi scored lucky owners a ton including a try, and at only 2% ownership at time of writing, is he also one to consider for your team?

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Tino backed up from Origin gloriously, playing 61 minutes, scoring a try, and scoring lucky owners 103 points. Baby Tino also scored a try finishing on 58 points, a coup for those who had to play him.

Khan-Pereira also scored a try because that is what he does. He also had one of his base-free games, making 3 tackles and finishing on a score of 29.

Injuries: Jai Arrow (ankle), Cameron Murray (groin)

Judiciary: Chris Randall (Dangerous Contact), Richie Kennar (Shoulder Charge)

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Sharks vs Broncos

Her palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

There’s vomit on her sweater already, she’s hidden behind the settee…

Round 14. Game 4. Sharks vs Broncos.

Otherwise known as the one that I, and every other non-Nicho owner, watched with our eyes closed from behind the couch.

And I will never death ride our wet-haired Prince again because that is some scary shi…

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ohhh, no wait…there’s still next week to get through…

And wow. We got lucky fellow non-owners.

Because our wet-haired Prince had the ball on an absolute string in the first half. And then, come the second half, well, he did not quite.

But he still finished up on 90 points. And I have just noticed this as I sit here at 1.30am on a Monday morning scouring the SC app as I write these recaps. So, you either got a bunch of glorious unicorns…or it might be the try assist and 4 line-break assists and everything else that saw him score almost a ton. And what have I done I cry as I look at my 26-point Katoa…I desperately NEED Nicho back in my team!

Now. There should be some Sharks on your radar because they play both Round 16 and 19. Here are some:

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Kennedy scored a try to finish on 78 points. He has a 3-round average of 79. Mr Consistent.

Nikora scored a 69 and while he has a BE of 90 this week vs the Storm, he could be on your watchlist for next week. Katoa base-monstered up with 67 points…and Talakai scored a try to finish on 58 points (an interesting prospect but I wouldn’t go to the full extremes of selling my soul for him anytime soon).

And gosh the 2023 Broncos are here to play and I am completely here for it! They did, of course, take the win, 12 – 20 in a performance that saw four of their Origin stars back up and play their hearts out. The same game that also saw the Sharks miss 51 tackles.

And a round of applause for man of the hour, Staggs. OMG. After bottoming out and dipping under 400k, it was almost-ton-week!

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And what a performance he put on. 96 points, including a try, a try assist, a thousand tackle busts, and THIRTY-TWO points in hit-ups – I am truly considering the man for my team (somebody get the whiskey ready…she’s going in!)

Haas and Carrigan backed up from Origin majestically, playing 58 and 69 minutes respectively. Haas scoring owners 62 points, and Carrigan a respectable 54.

After a slow start on the point-scoring front, Reecey Walsh played the full 80, and scored a 65, which as an owner who was scared he might not back up, I will absolutely take! And he is just so fun to watch too.

And a big shoutout to Herbie Farnworth on 89 points and Corey Oates on 85 points. What an absolute performance from the both of you!

Injuries: Nil

Judiciary: Ronaldo Mulitalo (Crusher Tackle), Braden Hamlin-Uele (Crusher Tackle), Blayke Brailey (Dangerous Contact)

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Roosters v Bulldogs

The King is dead…

Long live the King! Everyone bar Mrs Tedesco was calling for his head after Wednesday, but Teddy came out with a point to prove on Sunday and took apart the Bulldogs with a throwback performance! Those who held were rewarded with a massive 120 pre updates as he crossed for an early double and set another up.

Set to take on the Panthers next week, Teddy could be the key to seeing some green arrows. Took it upon himself to carry the Chooks and those around him benefited. Will miss the Newcastle game but backs up after Origin on the Sunday v the Raiders. Owners will be smart to hold.

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Suaalii found some open space after being shifted to the wing and made a handy 75 but that included 17 for the try and 16 in goals. Base needs some work, but if he stays on the wing I don’t mind the trade. That’s about where it ends for the positive news for the outside backs of the Chooks… now onto the spuds.

Manu. He is one that needs some thought. The move to 5/8 hasn’t brought about the huge scores owners would have hoped for and he hasn’t found the attacking stats. Lots of carries of the footy though and Walker is a few weeks away. A big score is coming, I just don’t know when, and time and patience is wearing thin.

And Billy Smith. Here and now. This is the last time I trade in a B Smith from the Roosters. Got my money and I’m checking out. Thanks for nothing, you’ve been ordinary.

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And I love watching these Dogs play! Just ooze blue and white, they seem a very proud club and success is not far away. They went a long way to winning this but losing Mahoney didn’t help them (or me) as he succumbed to a head knock and only managed 32.

Addo-Carr cashed in on a slow Roosters edge, giving Suaalii a good look at his back on his way to 85 and, I’ll say it again, keep your eyes peeled on TPJ! Had another huge performance taking it to the Chooks pack. Finished with 75, dual position, and priced at sub 500k. Give me some of that!

Minutes played – Crichton 29, Mahoney 34, Preston 80, Edwards 56, TPJ 51

Injuries: Jacob Kiraz (pre-game – elbow), Reed Mahoney (head knock)

On report: Jake Turpin (Roosters)

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Cowboys v Storm

Gee if this Cowboys team were a racehorse there would be some stewards knocking on the door! Concede 66 against the Tigers then put 45 past the Storm! Like losing a benchmark 72 at Taree by 10 lengths then showing up at Randwick on a Saturday!

And led by the man I and plenty others sold last week Val Homes! He popped up in a few teams still in Round 14, so God knows what their plan was with him but 135 of the finest Supercoach points of the round! Had the Melbourne defence in tatters and holders rejoiced! Although, he does have a bye next weekend into Origin. So, ration those points cause their ain’t many more coming in the next two weeks.

Scotty D continued on his merry way scoring 89 pre updates. His last four scores read 75, 95, 117 and 89. Owners are staying well and truly hydrated!

The only real concern is the 18 backrowers the Cowboys now seem to have. As an owner of Luki, it pains me to trade him out but with Leilua, Nanai, Hess, Cotter and Lolo not far away, his minutes are on the slide and he seems to be the one missing out. A superb talent and one I’ll be back on if he starts getting 80.

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It was an afternoon to forget for the Storm contingent with only Meaney breaking 60. He has been one of their best and his 85 on Sunday afternoon included a very classy chip and chase try. I doubt though the Supercoach scorers will award him the elusive “kick and regather” points

Warbrick had a strong performance despite being blown off the park. He finished with 50 points pre updates and will make some more money.

Harry Grant and Munster both had very quiet games, but it didn’t surprise me as they usually save their best for games against NSW sides. The latter may become a must-have pending court proceedings.

Minutes played Luki 34, Leilua 80, Nanai 53, Cotter 48, Grant 72, Welch 43, Katoa 80,

Injuries: Justin Olam (head knock)

On report: Nil

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Panthers v Dragons

“Nathan Cleary” and “Hamstring”. Two of the most coined phrases in Australian media in the next two weeks. But let’s just take a chill pill. Fox Sports carried on like he died. 

Freddy could save us some angst and just name Nicho in the 7. Save us three nights of NRL360 speculating over something they have no control over.

With Cleary gone, it was a very clunky Penrith side that just found the win over the Dragons. Many would have captained him and with an early ball to Brian To’o, 150 was looking likely. But alas it wasn’t to be, and plenty are in the same boat I am.

To’o did bag a double for 79 and has had a solid month whilst Turuva crossed for one also as he finished with 57, but that’s about where it ended.

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Hosking saw little footy with no Cleary as he scraped his way to 32, and Edwards too had an off night scoring only 37. They’ll be Cleary-less for the next six matches so players like Hosking and Turuva may become sells.

The Dragons are showing a bit more ticker now that they are coach-less and sponsor-less… Might be the key. But they lack any sort of Supercoach panache. Rabbitohs, Bye, and Warriors are their next three assignments and I can’t see anyone in that 17 that strikes me as Supercoach worthy. Even someone like Liddle who had a negative BE failed to bring any spark and would have lost all money-making capabilities with his 36.

Minutes played Hosking 63, Martin 42, Tago 80, Liddle 50, JDB 61

Injuries: Nathan Cleary (hamstring), Jack de Belin (head knock)

On report: Nil