Weekly wrap: Round 23 studs & duds

Here we are.

This is what you’ve been working towards.

The last 23 weeks have been building up to this…

It’s AFL SuperCoach Grand Final time!!

If, however, you’re like me and got knocked out of the finals race yonks ago then I guess we’ve finally reached the point where 23 weeks of constant stress and torture has just about come to an end.

Hallelujah!

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In case I haven’t made it abundantly clear in the last month, AFL SuperCoach sucks, Nic Martin sucks, and absolutely none of my team’s downfall can be attributed to my poor coaching…

NONE.

This week, Elite Dadds scored 2325 which moved me down 1257 spots to 6178th.

Grim.

Not my fault…

I would just like to point out though that on last week’s podcast we were tasked with choosing a player from each position who we would be putting onto our respective ‘never again’ lists.

Here’s how my four players went over the weekend:

Mason Redman – 56

Callum Mills – 38

Jarrod Witts – 89

Nic Martin – 34

As you’ve probably come accustomed to over the course of the year, I have the vision of a hawk when it comes to picking out absolute SPUDS.

Dear Mason, Callum, Jarrod, and Nic (stupid way to spell Nick) (sorry if that offended anyone), goodbye and good riddance.

Anyway, let’s get into the wrap!

Collingwood v Brisbane

• Darcy Cameron (97) owners were ready to riot following another poor score given his measly 74 and 67 heading into this game
• Jakob Ryan (12) was subbed off with concussion in his debut after just 29% TOG
• Josh Dunkley (99) failed to ton up for the third game in a row
• Lachie Neale (97) had 31 touches and a team-high 10 clearances but similar to Dunkley, couldn’t ton up for the fourth week on the trot
• Jaspa Fletcher (30) has well and truly hit the rookie wall

Richmond v North Melbourne

• VINTAGE Dustin Martin (158). 31 disposals, 7 marks, and 3 goals… Did I accidentally re-watch the 2017 Grand Final??
• Shai Bolton (141) also put up a monstrous score thanks to 25 touches and 4 goals
• Tim Taranto (96) now has just one ton in his last eight games… One of the all time drop-offs
• Harry Sheezel (136) had a day out in a very piggish display off half back. FWIW, I’m considering him as a VC this week against the Suns
• Jack Ziebell (95) played admirably in his final game. When I awoke on Sunday morning to the news of his attack on Saturday night, I was in shock. Here’s hoping he makes a speedy recovery!

Gold Coast v Carlton

• Sam Flanders (130) has been a revelation since his return to the team, but more notably his return to the midfield. He is going to be a scary sight next season under Dimma Hardwick
• Touk Miller (104) is another player I’m pencilling in for a huge year under the guidance of Hardwick. Lock him in
• Jarrod Witts (89) lumbered his way to another under-par score. Cannot WAIT to not own him next year
• Lloyd Johnston (28) made his debut but was subbed off in the last quarter

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• There are some things that not even science can explain… Yawns, dark matter, and how the hell Nic Newman (129) is scoring so god damn well. He has a four-round average of 132!!
• Zac Fisher’s (96) move to half back has seen him average 92 over the last three weeks. An interesting one for next year…
• Sam Docherty (64) put up his lowest score of the season
• Patrick Cripps (57) went down into the rooms in the first quarter and never really got going after that

GWS v Essendon

• Jesse Hogan (197) had without a doubt the best game of his career. 24 disposals, 17 marks, and 9 goals almost saw him crack the double ton
• Kieren Briggs (139) continued his merry season. After a monstrous second half of the year, could GWS give him a two week rest before finals??
• Harry Himmelberg (127) came off with a sore shoulder in the first quarter but played the rest of the game
• Stephen Coniglio (126) and Tom Green (119) had a big day in the middle
• Josh Kelly (100) has been quiet as of late
• Not that it matters, but Toby McMullin (25) is on the bubble this week
• Zach Merrett (99) and Darcy Parish (91) will both be looking to bounce back against the Pies this week – a team both of whom have excellent records against
• Mason Redman (56) sucks
• Nic Martin (34) sucks even more

St Kilda v Geelong

• Given how well the Saints have gone this year, surely they can’t bring in a ruckman next year to play second fiddle to Rowan Marshall (141)??
• Jack Sinclair (137) with 38 disposals and 10 marks at 81% DE
• Jack Steele (102) notched up a team-high 7 tackles
• Tom Stewart (128) bounced back from his 69 the week before
• Esava Ratugolea (17) was subbed off with a hamstring injury in the first quarter meaning he’s likely played his last game in the blue and white

Adelaide v Sydney

• Just straight off the bat, seeing the best kick of Ben Keays’ (36) life result in a point despite it clearly being a match-winning goal might just be up there with the funniest thing I’ve ever seen live
• Jordan Dawson (118) shrugged off a tag against his former side
• I had Rory Laird (116) pencilled in for a big night due to the sloppy conditions and he didn’t disappoint
• Matt Crouch (86) scored under 112 for the first time in four weeks
• Nick Blakey (120) racked up intercept possessions for fun
• Errol Gulden (109) tonned up despite going at just 30% DE
• When you read the title of this article, and in particular the words “stud” and “dud”, I hope your mind goes straight to Callum Mills (38) because he is a genuine DUD

Western Bulldogs v West Coast

• Marcus Bontempelli (162) put up an almost super human second half with 20 disposals, 3 marks, 8 tackles, and a goal
• Adam Treloar (120) has a five-round average of 115
• Tim English (118) dominated the ruck with 51 hitouts
• Jack Macrae (49) was tactically subbed off in the last quarter… The end of an era
• Tim Kelly (127) was sensational, grabbing 32 touches – 15 of which were contested
• This was just Alex Witherden’s (85) second score under 90 in his last eight games

Melbourne v Hawthorn

• Christian Petracca (106) tonned up for the ninth week in a row
• Max Gawn (91) had 20 touches and 22 hitouts
• Clayton Oliver (84) suffered at the hands of Finn Maginness (42)
• Karl Amon (119) has been on a tear over the last month, averaging 113 from his last five games

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• Will Day (118) has recently been drawing comparisons to Marcus Bontempelli… Perhaps it was my pessimism as a Hawthorn supporter – supporting my team through another under-achieving year – that didn’t allow me to see the full potential of this group up until three weeks ago. Now, however, my eyes are well and truly open to just how good this young crop is; and if the Day + Bont comparisons continue to explode over social media, you best believe I’ll be at the forefront of the movement
• James Sicily (83) let his owners down at a crucial stage of the season
• Henry Hustwaite (83) is another player Hawks fans can get excited about. On debut, he had 15 touches, 5 tackles, and kicked 2 goals

Fremantle v Port Adelaide

• Luke Jackson (123) finished the game with zero clangers – not bad for a dopey ruckman!
• Luke Ryan (114) returned to form
• Either Andrew Brayshaw (111) or Caleb Serong (94) will get tagged this week by Maginness… I just don’t know which one
• Tom Emmett (65) made his debut and did not look out of place in the slightest
• Zak Butters (129) just made the Brownlow race verrryyyy interesting
• Connor Rozee (75) was tagged by Hayden Young (113)
• This is Dan Houston’s (63) second score in the 60’s in three weeks