Clem’s Captains Call: Round 4

Hello friends. This is a sad moment for us.

There are no captains this week, because everyone is injured.

That’s all from me.

May your weekend be as glorious as Jakey T’s thu…

Kidding. Kidding.

Yes, it’s injury carnage out there but there are plenty of stunning rogues and CTWs who ONLY know how to ton up, and a couple of fullbacks too.

Just no halfbacks in this article.

None.

Zilch.

Read into that what you will. This is scandalous unprecedented times friends.

We are clearly in a V05 Wet Look Gel worldwide drought. It is out of my hands now. Won’t somebody MAKE. IT. RAIN.

But I’ll tell you what.

I wish there were no Captains in draft because my draft era so far can be summed up with copping the Reece Walsh 1-point captaincy.

Embed from Getty Images

Plus, I’m still flat-out trying to work out what a waiver is.

If somebody could just tell me, it would be much appreciated.

I think everyone thinks I’m joking when I ask, and so I just press the button for the waiver again and again but nothing much happens except now I’ve rage-waivered Reece Walsh which apparently caused ripples through the office, and I don’t know how to get him back in.

I did give my most astute piece of SuperCoach advice ever though to my workmate when he was contemplating the halfback dregs of Jack Cogger vs Aidan Sezer in our office draft.

“Nathan,” I said. “The answer is simple, should you contemplate it with your whole soul. A cog is an essential part of a well-working machine. It is not so good if it seizes up. Therein lies your answer. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.” 

For all your everyday philosophical advice, follow me.

Embed from Getty Images

So last week James Tedesco proved me right as the crispiest piece of bacon to be enjoyed after a night spent making the cut for Creatures of Manly.

But wow, how about Dom Young and yes sir you are coming straight into my team this week. I don’t care if you’re playing the Panthers you tackle busting, try scoring machine!

Unfortunately, “Anyone against the Tigers” was not an option, and I will eat my words and also my chance at scoring an almost clean sweep in the Captaincy stakes.

Added to that, despite the historic win, Charlie Staines did not repeat his 4 tries from his debut performance against the Sharks back in 2020, so once again my rogue captain failed.

However, I like to think that once they’d finished singing the team song off the thoughtfully provided sheets of A4, there was celebrations aplenty that led to many a lock jaw.

As THEY should – what a bloody glorious victory! Congratulations Tigers and fans!

So, without further ado, let’s move on to the Captains!

SUBSCRIBE TO SC PLAYBOOK IN 2024! Access extra premium articles every round of the season, access our subscriber only Whatsapp group with contributor feedback, late mail and other threads, our major unlimited group prize and plenty more. SIGN UP HERE!

Embed from Getty Images

Your Vice Captains

Teddy and Dom Young vs the Panthers Thursday night

Despite mammoth scores last Friday night, these are only to be Vice Captains this week, because if you straight captain them in the Thursday night match-up vs the Panthers, I cannot help you.

Except to wonder how many flat tyres you change on your wheelbarrow every week, considering the size of the balls you must carry around in it.  

However, the Panthers are without Cleary, and the Chooks look so bloody dangerous. I just think if you have one of these guys, you may absolutely take a Vice Captaincy risk.

Because Teddy! He is looking vintage. 135 points last week. A 3-round average of 103…I am beyond devastated that I didn’t start with him in my team. I LOVE crispy bacon.

And Dom Young last week. What a revelation! 150 points, a try, two try assists, FOUR line breaks, 500 tackle busts…I could go on…

Of course, Teddy boasts a 3-round average of 54 vs the Panthers and Dom’s is even less impressive at 45, and a panther would likely win in a fight with a chicken, but that is the beauty of a Vice Captain. You can take a risk!

Because if it all fails, that’s okay because you still have your Captain to come and potentially some Easter eggs too! Delightful times!

Embed from Getty Images

Val Holmes or Scotty D vs the Broncos Friday night

Another likely pair of Vice Captains. 

The Broncos are in injury ravaged crisis. Reece, Haas, Piakura… won’t somebody give the poor Broncos an injury break.

But if you own any of the high-flying, point-scoring Cowboys, you can most definitely Vice Captain one of these.

And let us start with last round’s second highest scorer, Val Holmes. 144 points. A 3-round average of 102. Just. So. Many. Points!

Against the Dragons he was untouchable.

Can he repeat vs the Broncs who looked less than their best last week against the Panthers? I wish I had him in my team.

And Scott Drinkwater – 105 points vs the Dragons including a try and two try assists.

There are worst Vice Captains you could choose out there. 

So, Vice Captain either of these with confidence. And get ready to loop.

Embed from Getty Images

Your Captains

Tommy T vs the Dragons Saturday 

I watched a movie about dragons the other night.

I don’t actually know why, because my normal viewing doesn’t usually stray far from footy, the usual comedy suspects, and the occasional episode or two of Law and Order before bed so I can lie there in the dark waiting to get kidnapped.

But anyway, on this particular night, I found myself engrossed in a dragon movie and there was a prince or a King who had to slay the dragon (as you do, the absolute level of commitment sir) and wouldn’t ya know it!

He slayed the dragon and saved the day and everyone lived happily ever after…

And this could only be a premonition for Saturday arvo, when Sir Tommy T flies down the field, splitting the Dragons open, a heroic performance for the ages, and his captainers live happily ever after thriving on 100s of points. 

Now, there are better 3-round averages out there than Tommy’s 74. And he hasn’t cracked the ton yet this year.

But against Parra last week, there was point-scoring ops that didn’t go his way, and he just looks so good! 

And the last time he played the Dragons he scored 167 points (which was admittedly back in 2019 when SuperCoach wasn’t even a glimmer in my eye because I was still flat out trying to work out the difference between an escort and a hooker and my rugby league-watching career was limited to being brainwashed watching 652 replays of the 2006 State of Origin decider on repeat).

The Dragons leaked about 50,000 SuperCoach points last week to the Cowboys including Val’s 144 and Scotty D’s 105 – so I think it’s a safe call to chuck that armband on Tommy Trbojevic and sit back, relax and enjoy the game!

Embed from Getty Images

RTS vs the Knights Sunday arvo 

RTS at fullback. I’ll take things that make me happy for 150 points please Andrew. Tu meke bro!

And how FUN is Roger to watch and own in your team. He just looks better and better. And if you don’t have him yet, please reconsider. 

His first try of the season last week vs the Raiders when he moved to fullback after Tuaupiki’s HIA. Starting at fullback this Sunday arvo back home in NZ against the Knights. 

And may I repeat, starting at fullback. This is not a drill.

If you have him, you may definitely Captain him in a rogue and poddy vintage Captaincy choice that just could pay off for you and make your Easter sweeter than that tenth Easter egg your about to polish off…

Embed from Getty Images

Your Rogue

Okay. LOL.

V05 Wet Look Gel shortage or not. As if I wasn’t going to add him in.

There IS a halfback in this article. And that is of course the one and only…

Dylan Brown, who scores 150 points on Monday arvo vs the Tigers.

Everybody gets lockjaw because they can’t help but watch the whole game open-mouthed, marveling at the stunningness of the performance.

Also in this game, Aidan Sezer scores 100 points rendering my philosophical ramblings to Nathan unfounded.

Somebody tells me what a waiver is.

I finally win a round of office draft.

I watch another dragon movie.

Life is good.

It is rogue times aplenty.

Verdict

If you have any of the big CTWs like Val and RTS they are all good poddy choices who have the potential to go off! 

But honestly, can we go past Tommy Trbojevic? 

No, no we can’t. And therefore, I’ll be Vice Captaining Dom Young into Captain Tommy T.

Or…maybe I’ll go Tommy T into a rogue of Dylan Brown…I’m easily tempted…

And with that, may your Easter weekend be full of points and chocolate, and as always, may it be as glorious as the thumb of Jakey T.

Until next time,

Clementine xx