Clem’s NRL Supercoach Captains: Round 27

HONK IF YOU’RE SHAUNY!

And by God it was a Shauny night out at Shark Park where it was all Up Up Cronulla The Wahs as Kiwi hero, Shaun Johnson, had a fairytale finish to his illustrious NRL career, winning the game for the Warriors with his very last touch of the ball. 

What a game! What a night! What a player!!! And the wave of elation that washed over the crowd in the dying seconds of the game was like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. 

It was like being inside a kaleidoscope. It was like eating all your favourite foods at once. It was colours and happiness and 

Pure. Unadulterated. Joy.

We love you SJ you absolute cult icon and legend!

TU MEKE BRO!

And yes, I did bring him in and Vice Captain him, and this is possibly my top trade in for the entire season. 

And what a scholar and a gentleman SJ is to up our Captaincy strike rate to a solid 50% for the season with a sweet 104! 

And I have also fulfilled my lifelong dream of making the Warriors insta grid – caught in a joyous moment of kaleidoscopic elation, holding aloft the great Anton Posa’s ‘Honk if you’re Shuany’ sign and grinning like a Cheshire cat.

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I can literally die happy.

Life. Goal. Achieved.

In other news, somewhat related, our wet-locked Prince, Nicho Hynes is back. And I warned everyone in the article last week that though I’d be in the general vicinity on Saturday night, I would not be sneaking into the sheds to dose his head in V05 Wet Look gel, and I would be performing no rain dances either.

And I also warned everyone that the last time he played the Warriors back in Round 1, he had scored a 26.

So, the 47 points was not a surprise. But yes, I also brought him into my team last week. Because lol, as if I wouldn’t. I can’t resist the hair.

Now as we’re heading into the final round, we must talk about the battle that is me vs my SuperCoach nemesis, the SC Spy.

And he is currently 303 points ahead of me. So, unless his team spontaneously combusts in the next 4 days, there’s a good chance my run of Spy-victories could end at a three-peat. But there’s still hope friends…

I just need to practice some black magic and pray to Mariah or something…

And if he wins? Well, that’s okay too. It’s nice to keep things competitive. I’ve got him right where I want him for 2025…

Now, without further ado let’s get into our final Captains for the SuperCoachNRL 2024!

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Paper, Scissors, Rock – Take your pick

On Tuesday morning Craig Bellamy woke up, hopped out of bed with the sprightly spring of a man half his age, stretched, yawned, and looked in the mirror as he brushed his teeth and thought:

“What a lovely day for a TKO.”

And tonight. At Suncorp. We present The Annihilation of the Broncos – with a cast of an almost full-strength Storm side, starring:

That other Kiwi halfback legend Jarohme Hughes – a 3-round average of 87, about a thousand try assists this season alone, and a legitimate straight-Thursday night Captaincy pick if you have the balls…

Cameron Munster – 103 in his last game vs the Cowboys he simply can’t be ignored…

And the hooker I should have owned to beat the Spy – Harry Grant, with 129 in his last game vs the Dolphins…

Who will win the game of Storm playmaker paper, scissors, rock?

And do we have a rogue outsider in the form of Sua Fa’alogo who comes in with some super rock play to take it all? 

Tune in at 8.05pm when all will be revealed.

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Teddy

And the award for the safest Captain in SuperCoach 2024 surely goes to James Tedesco! 

I’m calling it early. He has been my most successful Captaincy pick this season, singlehandedly keeping me in a Captaincy-call job amidst all the Nicho Hynes’ 4s and other such Captaincy disasters as that one.

And if you own, you MUST consider the Captaincy on him or at least the Vice Captaincy in the Friday night game vs the Bunnies who already have their Bintang singlets on and one foot firmly on the dancefloor of La Favela.

A 3-round average of 120. 135 points last time he played the Bunnies back in Round 3. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again:

Teddy is the best fullback in SuperCoach. Period.

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Lomax

So, way back around 20 rounds ago when I was all bright-eyed, bushy tailed, and starry-eyed about the strong possibility of a four-peat vs the Spy – I did take a long hard look at Lomax.

And then I traded in Koula or some such disaster trade like that one instead.

Of course.

But if you own Lomax, you absolutely must consider at least a VC on him vs the Raiders on Saturday arvo, with a 98-point 3-round average, coming off a 125 vs the Eels.

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Nicho Hynes

With a 3-round average of just 54, coming off a 47 vs the Warriors, and only ranked 11^th out of 14 halfbacks for the SuperCoach 2024 season – do you take a punt on our wet-haired Prince vs Manly this Sunday arvo?

Yes. Yes of course you do. You do not do it for the points (or lack thereof). You do it for that glorious hair!

And last week we called SJ as a Captain of the Round, despite a similar average and look what he done bro. 

And I’ll let you in on a secret that I WILL be in the vicinity of Brookie on Sunday arvo, and in completely unrelated news, I do have about 100 tubs of V05 Wet Look Gel sitting in my bathroom just waiting to be used up…

Do with that info what you will…

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Kalyn Ponga

Coming off a 118, with a 3-round average of 95, playing for a spot in the eight vs the Dolphins – once again, Kalyn Ponga IS a Captain of the Round.

That is all.

Verdict

With overall glory on the line, this is the week to go with your gut with your Captaincy pick.

It could literally be the difference between soaring up the rankings to make your best rank ever or tumbling down the ladder into a pit of Tigers and Eels.

So, if you’re feeling a Jacob Gagai ton because you’re coming off a Thursday night bender and you’re not quite thinking straight…by all means, do it!

If you don’t, just watch him score a 151 consisting of 5 tries, 5 line breaks, and 1 tackle (none missed).

I’m either going to VC our wet-haired Prince and then finish off my Sunday arvo with a nice Captain KP…OR VC the most-reliable Sir James Tedesco into a rogue Captaincy on Prince Nicho – completely for the plot.

But whatever you do, I hope your Captain tons up for you, I hope you soar up those rankings and I hope your weekend is as nice as Jakey T’s thumb.

Thank you for joining me, Mariah, my crystals, and my bottle of whiskey on this (sometimes) blessed Captaincy journey this season…

Until next year.

Clementine xxx