Clem’s Captains: Round 6 NRL SuperCoach skippers

Friends. 

I’m writing this from behind the couch. 

I’ve been here since about 5.30pm. Tense. Waiting. Anticipating. 

That heavy breathing you can hear? That’s the sound of the non-Cleary owners about to take the deathride of our life, as we watch Nathan take on the Dolphins… and surely it’s a 150+ score incoming… 

So, while I’m curled up in the fetal position here (crystals on hand for the anti-manifesting, whiskey on order for Monday morning’s Support Group at the community hall) – I’ll make myself useful and take us on a journey of the Captains of the Round – sans the obvious Vice Captain – the Prince of Penrith, Nathan “Double Ton Incoming” Cleary. 

But first, a round of thanks. Over the past couple of weeks, we’ve had the pleasure of Maxy Bryden bringing us his most excellent take on the Captains, and the Great Overlord, Timmy W, bringing you a round of Captaincy excellence too. 

So, a massive thank you to these absolute legends for coming to the aid of a girl in her time of need…you truly are sirs and gentlemen, and I salute you. 

And where was I for the past couple weeks? Well, I was up on the GC, braving the elements (rain, sun, and snow etc etc) as I scouted the beach track at the Aussies in the hunt for the next Damien ‘and did you know he was a beach sprinter’ Cook. 

And did I find him, I hear you ask. You bloody bet I did! I saw so many hit ups at the beach flags I thought I was watching 2013 Gallen v Nate Myles, State of Origin, Game 3.  

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Now before we get into the Captains, and with exactly 20 minutes left before Nathan Cleary starts making me cry about my bad decision not to trade him in, I must bring you another piece of news: 

Tim is Spy and I am me. 

Because I have done it! I have broken the great Timmy x Clementine Hoodoo! I have beat him in H2H, for the very first time in history, and friends, the floodgates are open…because I beat him last week too!  

Honestly, at this point Timmy should just give me the keys to the Playbook…(watch him TKO me every week we play now…) 

And now, may I present to you our Captains of the Round (or potential Vice Captains if you weren’t one of the 376% of people to VC Cleary…): 

Your Captains 

At 6pm Friday night, the great King Gutho takes to the field to lead a slaughter against the Titans who were slaughtered last week by the Dolphins… 

*edit: I have just revisited this section after watching the Dolphins bring down the Panthers and I am not kidding – Dolphins fans have you brought your Grand Final tickets yet? 

Anyway, there is something poetic and anciently historic about dragons and titans fighting each other – the modern man’s Homer’s Odyssey* if you will. And honestly, if we look at this practically, a dragon is definitely going to beat a titan in a fight. Especially if the titan can’t defend. 

130 points last week. 2 tries. A try assist. THREE line-breaks and a couple of line-break assists, Gutho was a man out to make a statement against his former team.  

…and we will just gloss over the fact that they were beaten by one point, which was an absolutely Dragons thing to do according to my workmate Nathan who is the biggest Dragons fan living. And instead, we will look at those stats and feel very sorry for anyone who doesn’t own King Gutho… 

Get your Gutherinos ready fellow owners…we’re going large tonight… 

*disclaimer: Now that I think about it, I may have actually got this idea from a Simpsons episode rather than digging about in the deep depths of my brain back to the time when I was going to be an archaeologist…anyway, there was definitely a Homer involved… 

Storm Players 

I mean, how can you not? 

And while it pains me to write this, and I must forewarn you I will be manifesting a Warriors win, a sunny Sunday arvo at AAMI Park just screams the entire Storm team tonning up. 

So really, take your pick. 

Own Lil Papi? Enjoy that ton friend.  

Bringing in Hughes? Here we have the potential halfback of the round – Nathan ’61 Points’ Who? 

Big Eli Katoa? Just casually sitting there with the 5^th highest average of the SuperCoach 2025 season – give him a look for the armband.  

Cameron Munster? Coming off a 93 vs Manly, this game just screams a Munny ton up. 

Honestly, if you have a Storm player in your team, consider him the Captain. The end. 

Kalyn Ponga 

If you’re feeling like the fun of a Captaincy in the last game of the round, can you really look past Kalyn vs the Tigers at home? 

I mean, you probably can, the Tigers have held opposition fullbacks to 47 points this season. But can you actually see the Knights not coming out firing after being held to exactly zero points last week by the table-topping Bulldogs? 

A 35 in that game was not exactly inspiring to those who Captained, but if we go beyond that we can be comforted in the fact that he has a 73-point average, albeit his last two scores have been under 50 points. 

This isn’t my favourite Captaincy of this round – but at home coming off a heavy loss, it might pay off for those who take the punt. 

(I’m hopeless on the punt so do with that information what you will…) 

Verdict 

Why break a good thing? I’m banking on keeping the hot streak going with a VC on King Gutho, and with an average this year of 109, I’m sense another ton incoming. 

Just so you know, I’m manifesting a ton up, so I don’t have to put myself through the emotional rollercoaster of Captaining a Storm player vs my Warriors… 

If you own Lil’ Papi though, you’d be hard pressed not to go him. 

On that note, I must run, I’ve got to quickly duck down to the Community Hall to change the Monday morning Support Group to a Celebration Ceremony after being let off the deathride sans post-traumatic stress with Cleary only going 61 points and a significant price drop incoming too…  

Mariah also needs to be briefed to change the song from ‘Without You’ to ‘One Sweet Day’ too…lyrics coming soon. 

I hope you all have a beautiful weekend, and your Captain scores a ton… 

Clementine x 

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