Clem’s Captains: Finals Week 3 NRL Supercoach Skippers

573 points. 

FIVE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-THREE!

The holy grail level of Captaincy has officially been met, and the rest of us mere mortals who went for a nice, safe Cleary or a Young are nursing our measly tons and craning our necks as we look up at the absolute gods who Captained Paul Alamoti.

Get your hands out and BANG THEM TOGETHER!

Balls so big only a BAUMR-AG 300KG Motorised Wheelbarrow Tracked Wheel Petrol Powered Mini Dumper will do!*

*This is not a paid advertisement, this is straight facts.

And what a round of SuperCoach Finals, where going a little bit rogue (or a lot) from the rest of the pack paid off and sent SuperCoachers soaring up the rankings.

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I played a pretty safe and insular game (albeit I did have a To’o which was nice) and managed a 961, which sees me in 4,365 place.

And now – with just three games left in the season – it’s time to make a choice. 

Settle for nice and safe and accept 4000ish place is… just fine… or take a swing at the rankings, go full rogue, and change my team name to Six Flags Magic Mountain – world record holder for the most rollercoasters in a theme park…

I’m tempted by the latter…

Girls gone wild!

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So while I umm and ahh over this momentous decision, we should probably dive into the Captains, and while there are only two games this weekend, there’s some absolute Captaincy decisions to be made with the usual suspects of Cleary, Reece, and Haas all looking good to go – and a collection of poddy rogues who demand to be seen.

And let’s start with tonight’s game to find some likely candidates, and really, after Alamoti went full ‘hold my beer’… is anyone not a Captain?

Just watch Kaufusi score a double ton off the bench…

But in the interests of word count – let’s focus on a few from each game:

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Storm v Sharks

Lil’ Papi’s back and Hughes is back, and the whole crews back, and the games at AAMI, and they’ve had a nice rest break, and Bellamy literally SMILED in the coaches box two weeks ago when Warbrick intercepted Kikau’s pass and tore down the field to score the match winner under the posts in the 76^th minute in the ultimate redemption move… 

…but, the Sharks. 

The Sharks basically went William Wallace in full Braveheart speech-mode “Fight and you may die. Run and you’ll live… at least a while… They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our chance at the Premiership!” last week vs the Raiders, and basically announced:

‘We ain’t here to sleep with spiders’ (or words to that effect).

I’m nervous about the full Captaincy Shebang in this game as I think there’s a points-fest waiting to happen at Suncorp on Sunday, but here are some options to wear the Vice Captaincy blue in your team. 

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Lil’ Papi

We love the glorious mullet in this article – even if his last two scores are *checks notes*… ahhh 33 and 21.

But that was then, and this is Finals, and he’s back after missing the Bulldogs clash through concussion, and we are so happy to welcome him into our sides.

If we can just look past the fact that the two times the Storm played the Sharks this season he scored a 35 and a 48, and we look instead to the 182 he scored against the Tigers back in Round 10 – we can convince ourselves that in order to climb up the rankings we may as well take a swing at a poddy Lil’ Papi VC, cross our fingers, and hope he quadruples his 3-round average of 42.

A pod and slightly rogue VC choice when you have such in-form players as Reece and Cleary on the roster, but the person who laughed in the face of safety and Captained Alamoti last round isn’t crying over his 44,077 rankings rise is he? 

And if the Storm can get a bit of a score going… surely some of those points come the way of the Glorious Mullet.

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Nicho Hynes

I would like to publicly thank Timmy Williams for plugging a swap to Nicho Hynes in the Playbook Subscribers WhatsApp Group last Saturday after Strange was ruled out.

I followed our OverLord and Great Leader with his play and thus reaped the 119 GLORIOUS Nicho points that included a try, a try assist, a bunch of goal kicks, and a handful of linebreak assists… all the lovely things – and also chucked him in my multi – which made it a winning evening all round!

Ching, bloody, ching. And thank you, Sir Timmy!

Now, this week playing a freshly rested and basically full-strength Strom side in Melbourne is not the same as playing a Raiders team coming off 93 minutes and 3 losses in one game…

But still, the Sharks want this – they are hungry and Nicho – Nicho’s standing up and embodying the very spirit of William Wallace, albeit with wetter hair and less face paint.

So if you feel a special feeling about Nicho, take a punt friend! 

“They will never take away our freedom!” Nicho, In The Sheds, probably.

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Broncos v Panthers

Sit back, crack open a beer, and get ready for an absolute points-fest when Reece and Staggs and Haas and co take on the reigning premiers!

A showdown for the ages on a sunny Sunday arvo in front of a sold-out crowd at Suncorp – HOW was this match-up not scripted by the footy gods that be??

And are we living a real-life Truman Show?

The chance for redemption for the Broncos after facing an 18-minute Cleary-clinic in the 2023 Grand Final and having glory snatched from under their noses.

And the chance for the Panthers to hammer the final nail in the Broncos’ season once again, and make a run for a fivepeat…

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Whoever wins this, it’s going to be the most unmissable of games that must not be missed – and so of course I, as a master of scheduling and calendar-keeping, have created a scheduling conflict of my very own doing on Sunday afternoon in the form of Snoop Dogg at the Greenwood Hotel…

…which is going to be the most absolute peak of an epic arvo! Snoop x Footy Blockbuster –

Just pray for me that the scheduling gods come through and he’s on after the game…a collective finger-crossing please – we’ve manifested harder things than this together…

So in this game we’ll either find ALL our Captains, or our Captain and our VC… Points. Frenzy.

Here are your Safe as Haases choices, and really, the Holy Trinity of Captains need no introduction:

Nathan Cleary

Captain. Obvious. 

We don’t even need to think about it.

That is all.

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Reece Walsh

“That Walsh’s so hot right now” Mugatu, probably.

And if you don’t VC or Captain Reece Walsh, who is at the very peak of gloriousness with just the right touch of bad-boy rogue right now, then what will you be doing?

FIVE TONS IN HIS LAST FIVE GAMES.

He is the gift that keeps on giving.

And what even was that performance vs the Raiders except pure cinema?

128 points worth of tries, try assists, 40/20s, goal kicks, linebreaks… a headbutt and a sinbin just for good measure.

And now, up against the Panthers in the do-or-die clash in front of the sold-out Suncorp crowd – and given a Reynolds-approved “licence to thrill” – the stage is set to make it six straight tons in a row…

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Payne Haas

Two tons in his last 5 games, a 5-round average of 95, 103 in his 73 minutes against the Raiders in Round 1 of Finals… 

If you want to play it nice and safe with your VC this week, Haas is the safest safety net of all safety nets.

Brian To’o

You have to at least consider To’o too.

He is coming off 138 points vs the Bulldogs including 2 tries and 50,000 tacklebusts.

The man just racks up points – and if he can find the line a couple of times again…

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Your rogue: Kotoni Staggs

Is Staggs this week’s Alamoti?

Because it’s Staggs vs Blaize.

The same Blaize of the Panthers left edge, who was run over by the Bulldogs right edge last week.

If you’re wanting a bit of a pod option to chuck your Captaincy or VC on, look no further than Staggs. 

Not only does the man live for big games and big moments, but he’s also coming off a 111 vs the Raiders.

It’s a risk that could pay off, because with most teams going the Cleary x Reece x Haas route – it’s only a risk that’s going to send you soaring up the rankings.

If you’re bringing him in, at least give the man the VC.

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Verdict

Somebody is going to go huge this week, and even though we only have two games’ worth of players – it’s so hard to pick who!

I’m torn on the safety net of a Cleary x Reece play or to go one each way with a safe Captain and a rogue VC called Staggs.

One thing is for sure – now we’re at the pointy end of the season, playing it safe with both your Captain and your VC isn’t going to jump you up the rankings, and while a risk could see you crash and burn, at least you went out in a blaze of glory trying!

And on that note, I hope you have the most beautiful weekend and your Captain and your VC score tons of tons!

Clementine xxx