NRL Supercoach | Clem’s Captains, Round 2 Skippers

Ladies and sirs! Friends!

It is I. The one commonly referred to as the mathematician of our generation.

Your official Playbook Support Group Coordinator.

Holder of the keys to the Community Hall. Rain dancer. Organiser of manifestation circles and lament parties.

Your dealer of whiskey, Mariah songs, dubious raps, and the occasional bottle of illegal rum.

And oh, how I have missed you in this long, long off-season.

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And now we are gloriously back for 2026, with one mission:

Beat Spy…ahh, pick up right where we left off at the end of the 2025 season, and keep that hot streak of Captains we got on going.

And if you recall, that was Reece Walsh copy-paste on repeat.

And I would like to start my article this season by requesting all Reece Walsh traders to please refer to the special letter I wrote you in the Reece Walsh section directly under this intro.

As your Playbook Support Group Coordinator, I am here for you, and I truly care for you.

And what about Round 1, because holy ton-up, I did not see some of those coming.

The Wahs fangirl in me pretty much self-combusted at the Steyne watching the Warriors feast on chicken, while Tanah, our new national hero, whacked out a casual 131.

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And how can we forget Ponga and Turbo and the Nicho x Trindall one-two punch at Shark Park.

And it was raining points, and momentum swings, and six-agains, and blow-out scores, and dare we say it – but have we somehow time-machined back to 2021?

For the Friday Beers, we kicked off our campaign with a 1318, which I was overjoyed with, considering we normally start the season somewhere south of 80,000 places.

Not so stunning was fangirling a vision that Laban was going to score 2 tries off kicks and ton up and be the obvious cheapie that everyone should have played; subsequently removing Noah and his glorious mullet onto my bench, whereby I caused myself an 80-point swing…

…and proved my poker face credentials as I gritted my teeth into my very best nonchalant smile on Saturday night, cheering for each Noah try alongside that dastardly Spy, who cleverly played this season’s must-have cheapie.

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I still beat him, though. It’s 2021 again. And it’s 1:0 to me.

But enough about my team, and let’s move on to why we are here, and that is to deliver the following letter, written with gentle care and hope for a resolution, to the Reece Walsh traders:

Reece Walsh

Dear Reece Walsh Traders,

I am currently sitting in front of my Reece Walsh shrine, and I am v. confused.

What are you doing? Who are the 1500 of you?

How much rage do you have inside you, and could you maybe go scream into a deep void instead (it is very cathartic and quite a nice alternative to rage-trading).

Why are you worried about a little 34 when he is a renowned world-class rollercoaster who didn’t even get to touch the ball last week??

Not once. I watched. I couldn’t even tell you where the 34 points came from.

They were a blessing and a gift, and I was overjoyed.*

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He who netted me and other faithful Captainers a neat 1,061 points in the final 4 rounds of SuperCoach Classic 2025.

He who led the charge in gifting us unprecedented leaps up the rankings.

He who sparked a spike in the Google search term ‘mugs shaped like toilet bowls’.

The MVP of SuperCoach 2025. Your local plumber. Reece Walsh.

FIVE tons in his last six games in classic last year. Probably a bunch in finals, but that was a zillion months ago, and I can’t find the stats, NOR DO I HAVE TO.

Because, despite the hiccup of a scoreless score against the Panthers last week, the Broncos are playing the EELS tonight.

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And I can’t help but feel that fact is getting lost somewhere, and please can I draw your attention to the 50-point thrashing of the Eels by the Storm last week, and please can you reconsider your decision.

Reece Walsh is not a trade; he is a bona fide Round 2 Vice-Captain, in fact he is our Vice-Captain of the Round, and please put him back in your team and refocus your attention and energy on getting ready to loop.

I will now jump off my soapbox and go find a nice, deep void to scream into.

*Disclaimer: we have also determined that I may suffer from Stockholm Syndrome, having lived through the 9 and the 26 points of 2025, and a survivor of the infamous Round 17 22-points back in 2023. I can therefore not be held accountable for my disproportionate amount of gratitude for 34 points.

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Payne Haas

So last year, we coined the moniker ‘Safe as Haases’ in this very article. Because Payne Haas.

And okay. So last week Payne ‘Safe as Haases’ Haas didn’t quite exactly live up to his name, but that is okay, and we will allow it because it was Round 1 and the scores were all a little bit not quite what we were expecting in that Broncos v Panthers game, and now it is Round 2.

And anyway, a 68 isn’t the worst score in the scheme of things – it was, in fact, made up of pure base, and Haas was clearly the best of the Broncs on the field.

To put this score into perspective – only two players outscored him on the field – and they were Panthers.

Clean slate. We go again.

Vice-Captain with confidence. You could even Captain, should you feel so inclined, for the thrill of a Thursday night Captaincy.

He’s playing the Eels.

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Kalyn Ponga

Dear Reader,

What a joy to see Ponga back to his best in Round 0. What a feast for the eyes. What a delight for the soul…

Tu meke bro!

Yours sincerely,

A Kiwi

And yes, my brain is bursting with the delightfulness that is Kalyn Ponga committing to NZ.

But we are here to talk about the NRL and the Supercoach Captains, of which Ponga is most definitely a choice that must not be overlooked as an option if you are one of the pod-hunting connoisseurs who owned him from the get-go, or one of the 9000+ people who have jumped on since.

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116 points in Vegas. 2 try assists. 8 tackle breaks. His first 100-point score since Round 2 of last year.

A Sunday arvo game at Brookie Vs. Manly.

Kalyn is getting so much ball. Kalyn is kicking. Kalyn is scoring points.

If you own and you’re looking for a pod-Captain to stand up amongst the 500% of people who are going the Haas/Walsh/Farnworth route…

…you may Captain our newest Kiwi. We will allow it.

Chur!

Herbie Farnworth

It might be a dry track at Suncorp this Sunday, but I have it on good authority that it’s going to be raining.

Raining points. For Herbie. Our Captain of the Round.

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The Dolphins are playing the Titans. The same Titans who said ‘hold my wooden spoon’ to the Eels last week and also enjoyed a nice 50-point flogging – as the dreaded ‘no team’s won the comp after having 50 points put on them’ curse, claimed its first two victims.

And we will take Herbie’s 75 points, including a try and 43-points in base last week v. the Bunnies, and get excited for a Herbie Captaincy on repeat this sunny Sunday arvo in the first Queensland derby of the season.

The new scoring suits his game, the Dolphins are looking to that left side (as an owner of the Cobbo/Herbie stack, I’m salivating), and last season he averaged a cool 84 points…and before his season was cruelly cut short – he was whacking out tons like he owned himself in SuperCoach.

There’s a good chance Herbie doubles that 75 on Sunday.

We are getting giddy with anticipation.

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Verdict

With a finite number of words and having already gone over the allotted word count with my musings and tangents, analytical analysis of your best Captain’s choices, I would firstly note that there are about 10 other players who could wear the VC or Captaincy armband for your team this Round.

Think your Latrells, your Teddys, your Clearys, or some rogue pod you’re going to take a punt on (if you had a crystal ball and chucked the big C on National Hero Tanah Boyd last Friday night, you would have probably top-scored the round).

For the Friday Beers, we are a team steeped in loyalty, and we love to give second…ahh…third…ahh… INFINITE chances, and will therefore be giving our 2025 MVP Reece Walsh the Vice Captaincy (there will be much praying at the shrine), and we haven’t even taken the Captaincy off Herbie, who will hold it for the second week running.

Thank you for attending my Captaincy Ted Talk.

I will send out invites to the first Support Group of 2026 on Sunday night, ready for Monday morning.

Meeting at the Community Hall as usual.

And on that note, I hope you have a beautiful weekend, and your Captain scores you a ton…

I’m off to spend my lunch break praying to my Reece statue that his traders put him back in their team…

Clementine xx