Clem’s NRL Supercoach Captains: Round 17

So.

Origin.

On Wednesday night, me and my friend Ellie were walking back to the ferry after watching the game at a bar in the city.

It was Ellie’s first ever Origin game and she had also made her first ever footy bet:

3 or more tries to Reece Walsh. It seemed like a good idea at the time. We will not speak of it again.

Anyway, waiting for the light to turn green to cross the road, it was taking absolutely ages.

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“Omg it’s taking so long! It’s like waiting for Queensland to score a try!” proclaimed the proud brand-new New South Welshman from the heart of England as she tore my heart out on the corner of Erskine and Sussex Street and stomped on it a couple of times for good measure…

And burn girl! Too soon. Too new. Too raw…

But I love it! Bring the banter!

Anyway, “jokes” aside, congratulations to all the Blues supporters out there. What a victory to you!

The script is coming along nicely, and to the decider at Suncorp we go! (I hear the Caxton calling my name…and who am I to ignore the call of the greatest pub on earth…).

Now because of Origin, I’m not going to include anyone who played in that game in this article because of the uncertainty, but let us not forget that the Friday night after the last Origin game, Zac Lomax scored a 170 and Ben Hunt scored a 128…

So do with that information what you will…

And to the Captains we go!

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Prince Nicho Hynes

I’ll let you in on a little secret.

I’ve just bought a fresh new tub of VO5 wet look gel.

Do with that information what you will…

Myself? Well, I’ll be adding it to my Nicho shrine which includes a Nicho figurine and a photo of me trying to give him a tub of hair gel in the rain after a game at Brookie last year. And I will be praying to that shrine all day, because…

I might straight Captain Nicho.

Now, he’s definitely a Vice Captain if you own. His ownership is deliciously low at just 21%. So, in this crazy alternate reality – Nicho is a pod.

A strategic Captaincy on Prince Nicho if he goes large vs the Bulldogs tonight, could send you careening up the rankings straight past Spy…ahem…careening up the rankings…

Ignore the score of 3 a couple of rounds ago. Look past the 62-point 3-round average…

And just embrace the glow of that glorious wet hair.

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Jahrome Hughes

It’s 4.30am and I’m currently sitting in the car with my workmate heading to Kiama desperately trying to finish this article before we arrive.

(Regular readers will know this isn’t the first time I’ve written one of these in a car – the last time was careening down the backroads of Bali in a car being driven by a man named Putu in an unairconditioned car surrounded by a thousand scooters and 500% humidity whilst on a #bestfriendsofinstagram mission to take a photo of my friend with a fish).

Anyway, it’s 4.30am, and I’m existing solely on triple shot long blacks and about 2 hours sleep, and my brain isn’t working, so I asked my workmate, Max (who’s driving right now), who everyone should Captain this round and he said Jahrome Hughes, and so here we are…

Nice choice Max who has never watched a footy game in his life…he chose him because he’s a Kiwi (insert internal proud emoji) with an above average name that reminded him of Jemaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords (we’re totally reaching here….but there you go!)

And he’s not wrong –

A 3-round average of 105, a try and two assists vs the Dolphins last round…

If you own Hughes, playing the Raiders in Melbourne this Saturday, you may absolutely consider the Captaincy armband on him.

Nicely played ‘never watched a footy game in my life Max’.

In the words of Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords:

“Looking ’round the room field
I can tell that you
Are the most beautiful girl Captain in the room field
In the whole wide room field (ooh)
And when you’re on the street in Round 17
Depending on the street team
I bet you are definitely in the top three…”

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Captain a Rooster

It’s important we don’t think too deeply about this, because everyone knows that a Tiger would beat a Rooster in a fight, even the most noted philosophers such as Mariah, and even though the Tigers put on an absolute show last round sending lucky Api-owning SuperCoachers shooting up the rankings, the Roosters are THE Captains of the round.

The hardest choice? Who to choose? Because they’re all going SO well.

James Tedesco – if you want to go with the crowd (and they’re a crowd for a reason), follow the 60.6% (top 10% ranked overall) of SuperCoachers with the Captaincy armband on Teddy. The crispy bacon on that God-given bacon and egg roll that just gets crispier, Teddy is looking like your Sunday hangover cure this round, boasting a 3-round average of 111 and the third highest points overall in SuperCoach this season. Captain with confidence.

Joey M –Timmy W still owns him and until he takes one for the team and trades him out again after breaking him 3 rounds ago, I will not be putting that golden armband on one of my favourite players ever again. He now has a 3-round average of 51, because Timmy is cursed, so proceed with absolute caution.

Sammy W – Basically he grew a beard and scored a bunch of tons. A 3-round average of 83, 10 try assists in his last 4 games – Sammy W is a legitimate Captaincy choice vs the Tigers.

Terryl May – “Look what I just done” will live rent free in my head forever. Another major bye round, another ton…a risky Captain, but what is life without risk?

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Verdict

Direct your Captaincy armband to a Rooster friends. Playing the Tigers at Allianz in the last game of the Round, it screams of double-ton Teddy.

BUT, if Prince Nicho comes out and kills it tonight, and you’ve straight Captained his glorious wet locks…it could be ranking-rise city because his ownership is laughably low…

And I might just do that…

But whoever you Captain, I hope your weekend is a beautiful one full of tons of footy and tons of tons.

I’m off to casually pitch to Spy the advantages of him trading in Hugo Savala for Jahrome Hughes…

“It’s the perfect time to cement yourself as a patron of rugby league Spy, supporting a promising young talent and being the very first to own him in SuperCoach…”

More to come.

Clementine xxx