Clem’s Captains: Round 9 NRL SuperCoach skippers

Chuck the armband straight on Spy, your job here is done.

He might only be playing 60 minutes, but I’m telling you now – he’s a 4ppm player and we’ll be looking at a double ton come the early hours of Sunday morning.

Pouring a schooner over your own head at 2am in the middle of the dance floor of the Caxton to the soundtrack of Mr. Brightside is a straight 50-point play, and anyone who witnessed that at last year’s Magic Round has had him penned in for a straight Captaincy for weeks.

As a connoisseur of Captaincy choices with a strike rate of around 10%, I have never been so sure of something in my whole life. Give the VC to the Overlord, Timmy Williams, for a Payne Haas consistent safety net – but I’m telling you now, you won’t be looping.

And it is finally here! The best weekend of the NRL calendar when 500,000 NRL fans descend on one tiny strip of Queensland and it’s all footy and good times and beers, beers, and more beers.

So, let’s take a look at who could possibly pull out that magical Captaincy performance for you, and hopefully come Sunday night, you’ll be celebrating a double ton, not crying kerbside into your Abbra Kebabra kebab.

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Your VCs

Nicho Hynes – Will it rain? I don’t know – and I forgot to bring a jacket with me from Sydney so I’ll give you the tip now, I won’t be doing a rain dance and I didn’t bring a bucket of V05 either because I only brought carry-on. 

But what I do know is wet hair or not, Nicho is due that elusive ton and playing Moses (and his supporting cast of Eels) in the Magic Round opener tonight, us faithful holders might just get it. A 78 last round including a couple of try assists…we could be on the up here friends. Either that, or I’m a slave to unrequited loyalty – I’ve blindly held all season.

Teddy – We called the ton in last week’s Captaincy article, and I chose to go against myself and hold Ponga instead (the burn) – but if you have Teddy in your team, it’s an easy VC (or straight Captain – depends how big your balls are). 

128 vs the Dragons, including 2 tries and a 3-round average of 95, what’s not to love? Just don’t look at his average vs the Dolphins if you’re into that sort of thing…

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Your Safety Nets

In the year of the FRF two players have reigned supreme – is there a safer Captaincy choice right now than Payne Hass or Tyrell May? I think not. 

A 123 from Haas last round in a wet game at Suncorp – anyone who straight Captained him in the Thursday night game will have been laughing all the way to a rankings rise. 

The stats don’t lie – an average of 96, 3 tons in the last 8 games, and only one try because he doesn’t need them – you could not get a safer Captain than Payne Haas. “But they’re playing Penrith” doesn’t even come into the equation anymore.

Of course, you might want to take a punt on May instead. 118 points last round vs the Sharks – more than 80 points in base alone – a 3-round average of ONE HUNDRED AND ONE and playing the Dragons who looked completely out of sorts last round – is there an easier decision for a Captain.

The “look what I just done” burn to fantasy players who traded him out last year before he scored about 150 spite points lives in my head rent free.

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Other Captains

Apparently we channelled our inner fortune teller in this article last week, because we called the Scotty D ton up and also guessed carefully statistically calculated the 50 points put on the Titans. 

And anyone who brought him in would have been laughing as Scotty D scored 132 in an attack frenzy that included 42 points in line breaks and line break assists, 2 try assists, and a whole bunch of goals. The premonition that those who didn’t Drinkwater would be left thirsty came true – I have a first-hand experience, I was so severely dehydrated after that game I couldn’t even move from my spot from behind the couch. 

Playing the Warriors this week looks like a tougher matchup (or am I just a blindly loyal Wahs fan), but honestly, I will be sitting in the stands at Suncorp manifesting a Wahs win with a potential Captaincy on Scotty D.

Okay, so apparently nobody in the Storm spine won paper, scissors, rock last week and this could just be my blind loyalty coming into play, but you could do worse than a Sunday Captaincy on Lil Papi, who was looking on-point to be the Storm’s best on field before they managed to get him sin-binned with what might be one of the worst Captains challenges in history. 

Playing the Raiders, it’ll be a physical game, so he’ll need to find his attack – but we all know what it feels like to be on the wrong side of a Lil’ Papi 150, so one to consider albeit not for the more cautious amongst us.

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Verdict

I’m still torn on who I’m trading in, let alone who I’m Captaining – but I’ve got my eye on a Nicho VC into a Scotty D Captaincy for the potential upside or going the safe as houses route of just sticking the armband on Payne Haas and being done with it. Obviously if you have Spy in your team you’re going to Captain him – it’s a no-brainer.

And on that note, I hope you all have a beautiful weekend and your Captain tons up for you.It’s going to be a bloody magical weekend! 

Clementine x

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