NRL Supercoach | Clem’s Captains, Round 13 Skippers

Well. Hello.

And happy No Players for Round 13 to all those who celebrate!

Because what in the carnage is this, and why am I now looking at Jonathan Sua and his potential 4 points as a life raft of joy for my team?

Bye planning – out. Nicho – out. Iro – out. Everybody – out.

Spy trading in ALL my players. 

And just when I had lost hope, a shining light in the darkness of this bleak Friday. Ponga! Ponga is confirmed as backing up, and I am OVERJOYED!

And my sympathies to the Eels and anybody who traded him out last week. Get your spot behind the couch ready for Saturday afternoon.

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Because it’s officially The Ponga Redemption Match after Ashley stamped his foot and ordered him off the field and let’s just call it now – Kalyn Ponga is our VC of the Round.

And yes, I captained him in Origin, for 15 points. We will never speak of that or Queensland’s heartbreaking loss in the dying minutes of the game ever again. 

Now, I know I like to keep things straight to the point and hate a tangent, but a story, if you will!

For those who know me, you’ll know that the Bye rounds and me – we’re not normally friends. I enter them, wide-eyed and full of hope, ready to take them on, to soar up the rankings – only to get slapped down in the very first one. Every single year. (Except 2021, but I had some extra strong crystals that year; I’ve just misplaced them).

But Round 12. Round 12 was:

The One with the Bye Round Miracle – “A bye round disaster, a miraculous comeback, teammates dropping, heroes rising…”

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So I woke up with an NRL-induced hangover on Saturday morning after the aforementioned J Sua was cruelly cut from my bye round numbers, followed by a 5-point Preston after he was heartbreakingly dealt an injury blow.

Only one man could save me now. 

So I traded him in.

And I stood on Kogarah Hill as my tears of joy mixed with the pouring rain, and watched him, our Lord and Saviour Te Maire Martin, score two of the softest tries going for 94 points and a Warriors win. 

Pure. Unadulterated. Joy. 

Supported by a cameo from The Couchman Twins, I watched my dismal score go up…

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Then Sunday. One game. Four players – Chester, Luki, Cody, and Captain Scotty D.

1,152 points. A 1,129-ranking rise.

And friends. We’ve cracked the 1000 again – 545th place!

I am in raptures, and I haven’t stopped giving prayers of thanks at all my new shrines.

But even better – we’ve pulled away from the Spy, who is now trying to trade in all my players to make up ground – and let me have one nice thing to myself, please sir! You’ve just taken TMM, please don’t take Toby too!

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And it’s a weird and hard week for Captains, because alongside the carnage, we have a bunch of possible Captains who might not back up, and a bunch of random Captains who actually might go good.

So while I love a pod-play this week – let’s stick to two camps of Captains – your Upside Captains and your Safe as Haases Captains.

And we’ll start from tomorrow because with Nicho and Iro out this week, I actually cannot decide what will happen in the game tonight – but that doesn’t even matter when our wet-haired Prince isn’t even playing. It’s even stopped raining. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Instead, let’s look to the first game on Saturday, and here we have some likely Upside VCs!

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Kalyn Ponga

When Newcastle scores points – Kalyn scores points. It’s basic physics and simple maths.

And in the Massacre of the Eels on Saturday in Newy, it will rain points. It will be an absolute bloodbath of them. The Eels are decimated; Moses is out. The sun is shining. I did some weathergirling.

In his five games this season, Kalyn’s averaged 93. He’s an attacking conductor. He’s in everything.

Think back to that game against the Dragons in Round 10 – 140 points, 2 try assists, and SIX line-break assists.

VC with confidence. Cry behind the couch if you sold him last week.

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Greg Marzhew

Of course, you might prefer to look to the player who casually scored TWO HUNDRED AND SEVEN points in that same game vs the Dragons – none other than Big Greg Marzhew.

Adding FIVE tries to his tally of 14 for the season in that game – word on the street is Greg loves a bit of smoked Eel.

A 3-round average of 131 is basically all you need to know, but you might also like to watch the video “Exciting NRL Highlights: Greg Marzhew’s Best Moments “ on TikTok.

VC if you sold Ponga. If you own neither, I cannot help you. 

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Jacob Kiraz

Well. Well. Well.

And here is the Kiraz we all know and love. 

Playing fullback last week, Kiraz showed us why he remains a firm favourite amongst Spy’s boys; with a try and six offloads netting him his first ton and best score of the season. 

Running out at fullback again vs the Tigers, who are fresh off a bye, with three huge losses and a drop to 10^th place on the ladder motivating them – this won’t be a walk in the park for the Bulldogs. 

If you have him, you could take a risky VC. It’s a touch too risky for me.

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Terrell May

Instead, I’ll offer you a lovely Safe as Haases Captain lining up on the other side of CommBank, ready to tear the Bulldogs to shreds, in the form of Terrell May.

An 84-point average is nice. A 79-point base+power average is even nicer. 

Go here if you want a nice safe Captaincy option for your Saturday afternoon. Just pair him with a high-upside VC like Ponga or Marzhew – it’s a fine balance between safety, risk, and reward – and too much safe is boring.

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James Tedesco

Confession – I don’t actually have a crystal ball. And I don’t actually know which Origin stars are going to back up for the clash at AAMI between the Storm and the Roosters. So this is a weird one that you have to play by ear.

Have a back-up and do not count on Teddy being your Captain. But if you have him and he definitely backs up, you might like to take a punt on him for the armband and hope for a whole lot more of the try-scoring heroics that broke the hearts of Queenslanders in the dying moments on Wednesday night. (Queenslanders and those Kiwis masquerading as Queenslanders who live in NSW too).

If Harry and Munster and Co don’t back up, but Teddy does – he’s a great punt for a pod-Captaincy with only 5.6% of the top 10% currently backing him for a big score.

Three tons in his last five games brings his 5-round average to 100, stunning. Just don’t take any notice of the 21 points he scored vs the Cowboys in his last game in Round 11. 

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Reece Walsh

Okay, it’s happening. Everybody stay calm!

Reece Walsh is playing the Dragons, and this is not a drill. 

Actually, forget calm. Everybody panic and rip your teams apart to get him in!

That is all.

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Jackson Ford

Justice for Jackson was in full force on Wednesday night when NSW ran onto the field, and Queensland proceeded to pick them to pieces in the first half.

But I’d rather he played for the Wahs than NSW anyway, especially in this absolute clash of the titans, the game of the round, the top two clash, the Grand Final preview – the Panthers vs the Wahs.

And as the second-most popular Captain this week in the top 10%, it looks like many are looking to Jackson Ford to lead their team to Round 13 glory.

Averaging 88 points for the season and 76 points in base+power – you could coin flip a Safe as Haases Captaincy between May and Ford. 

My Wahs-bias says Ford, with 4 tons in his last 6 games. Especially as we have no news on if Cleary will back up to try and lead the Panthers to victory.

Chuck the armband on him if you like safe, and Up the Wahs!

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Nathan Cleary

Here is a conundrum faced by many SuperCoachers this week. 

Does Nathan Cleary back up from his Player of the Match performance on Wednesday night, and if he does, how many minutes does he exactly get?

Those of us with the Cleary x Nicho stack anxiously await our fate.

But with 6 tons to his name this season, and a 108-point 5-round average, if he’s named, it’s hard to look past Cleary for the Captaincy – even if the Panthers are going to lose to the Wahs.

Go here if you have a special feeling or a crystal ball. And if you have Ford in your team, NSW isn’t the only SOS he’ll be answering – because if Cleary doesn’t play, you can just swap to Ford if your VC bombed and you can’t use Nathan for the loop.

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Verdict

It’s the upside Captains for me – I Captained Kalyn in Origin, and I’m going to VC him here. And if that bombs, I’ll look to Reece (who at 4pm on a Friday arvo, I’m still trying to fit in my team).

And on that note, I have to run – there’s a bunch of people arriving at the Community Hall for the “I’d do dark things for Jonathan Sua to get a start” manifestation group that Timmy’s leading, and I’ve got the keys, so I’ve got to go let them in.

I hope you have the most beautiful weekend, and you win all your H2Hs and soar up the rankings, and your Captain scores you a ton…

Clementine xxx